


Run Away Now

by 27summer



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 19:32:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4361501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/27summer/pseuds/27summer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quinn makes it to the wedding but will Rachel go through with it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Run Away Now

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers through 3x14 On My Way and for Rachel’s audition in 3x18 Choke.

Quinn averted her eyes as the ceremony started. She agreed to attend but she hadn’t made any promises to actually watch Rachel torpedo her life for someone completely unworthy. That wasn’t quite fair. Finn did love her. He was just going to drag her down. Quinn knew it. And there was nothing she could do about it. Rachel had made her decision and Quinn had to respect it. Even if the thought of Rachel ending up stuck in Lima as Finn’s cheerleader made her want to puke.

All of a sudden, Santana elbowed her and Quinn looked up. Rachel was pale and backing away from Finn. “I can’t. I can’t marry you.”

“What? Rachel, please.” Finn reached out to her but she shook her head.

“No. This was a mistake.” Rachel spun around and ran out of the room.

Quinn waited a moment as everyone stared at each other in shock. She couldn’t stay here. She had to go after Rachel. She made her way outside, finding Rachel leaning against the wall. “Rachel?”

“Please don’t say I told you so.” Rachel looked at Quinn with tear-filled eyes.

“No, of course not. I just wanted to make sure that you’re okay.” Quinn stepped closer, placing a hand on Rachel’s shoulder.

“I- You were right. Finn and I are too young to get married.” Rachel scoffed. “What in the world was I thinking?”

“I didn’t want to be right. I want you to be happy.” Quinn really meant it. She would sacrifice just about anything to make Rachel happy.

“I thought this was what was right for me. But it’s not. I can’t stay here and who knows what Finn would do in New York?” Rachel covered her face with her hands.

“You did the right thing.” Quinn patted Rachel’s back.

“Sure. I let this go way too far.”

“Well, yeah. But it’s better it happened now than after you were married and ruined your life.” Quinn couldn’t help herself. She had to comfort Rachel. She pulled her into her arms. “It’s okay.”

“Rachel?”

Quinn turned to see Finn coming toward them. “Finn’s coming.”

“Oh, God.” Rachel untangled herself form Quinn’s arms, wiping at her eyes. “Quinn, can you give us a moment?”

“Of course.” Quinn gave her a smile before turning to walk away. She forced herself to leave, even though she wanted to stay and make sure Finn didn’t guilt her into changing her mind. Rachel was much too special to end up a Lima Loser. Quinn didn’t think she could take it if Rachel didn’t make it out.

\-----------

Rachel hid away in the auditorium, needing a break from all of the stares. It seemed like everyone at school knew about her failed wedding and wanted to question her about it. She didn’t know what to say. It was the right decision. She and Finn were crazy to think they could be married right now. And in the few days since they ended it, Rachel finally felt like she could breathe. The stress she’d been under seemed to disappear.

Of course, there was a whole new layer of stress she had to deal with now. Nobody would leave her alone with her thoughts. Finn, her dads, Kurt. They all wanted to know what her plans were and she just didn’t know. The wedding was off and that was all she knew. It was pretty amusing that nearly everyone had avoided questions about her plans when she was going to marry Finn but now, she was supposed to have all the answers.

Funnily enough, the only one who wasn’t on her case was the person who was most against the wedding in the first place. Quinn. Except for their conversation after she’d run out, they hadn’t spoken. Quinn had texted a few times but she hadn’t pushed. Rachel really appreciated that. Having someone who cared only about what she wanted. She knew she owed everyone answers, especially Finn, but she needed some time to herself. She had to be selfish right now.

“Hey, tough day, huh?” Quinn sat down on ground next to her. Rachel had been so engrossed by her thoughts that she hadn’t heard her come in.

“That’s an understatement.” Rachel tried to smile. “I think I preferred it when everyone in this school hated me.”

“Yeah, notoriety isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” Quinn elbowed her.

Rachel sighed, looking over at Quinn. “I assume you came to say I told you so.”

“No.” Quinn shook her head firmly. “I told you right after that I wanted you to be happy.”

“I know. I’m just having trouble making sense of all this. I just couldn’t go through with it.”

“You did the right thing. If you weren’t sure, you couldn’t do it,” Quinn pointed out.

“I- I just had to stop it.” Rachel looked at Quinn once more. “Finn was saying it was time and all I could think of was you weren’t there yet.”

“What?” Quinn lifted her eyebrows.

“You weren’t there and you said you would be. I knew I couldn’t get married without you. And then you were there and I still couldn’t do it. What do you think that means?” Rachel asked, looking hopefully at Quinn.

“I- I don’t know,” Quinn said slowly.

“I don’t, either. But I know if I was thinking of you and not my future husband, it wasn’t right. It wouldn’t have worked out. So I ran.” Rachel was still so confused. Talking to Quinn made her feel better but it didn’t get rid of all her uncertainty.

“Oh.” Quinn stared down at her lap, looking as lost as Rachel felt.

“Quinn?” Rachel waited until Quinn lifted her head to continue. “Why did you ask if I was singing that song to Finn?”

“I- uh- I don’t know.” Quinn dropped her eyes once more.

“There must be some reason.” Rachel frowned. That question had been in the back off her mind all weekend.

“I guess I had to make sure you were certain if I was going to support the wedding,” Quinn said quietly, her apprehension evident.

“Okay.” Rachel nodded, still feeling as though she was missing something.

“It’s not like it matters anyway.” Quinn scoffed. “I mean, even though you guys didn’t get married, it’s still all about Finn for you.”

“What- what does that mean?” Rachel asked. Quinn was trying to avoid telling her something but Rachel didn’t know what.

“Just forget it, Rachel. It doesn’t matter.”

“No, it does. Please, tell me what you’re thinking.” Rachel didn’t know why she was pushing but she had to get to the truth. She had to know what was going on inside Quinn’s head.

“I don’t understand why you’re focusing on this. It’s- it’s not- You don’t want to know.” Quinn shook her head firmly, losing her composure quickly.

“I do. I don’t know why but I have to know. Please, Quinn. Just tell me before-”

“I love you!” Quinn burst out, her face turning white as her words sunk in.

“What?” Rachel asked. She definitely hadn’t expected that.

“I love you,” Quinn repeated softly. She closed her eyes and turned away from Rachel.

“Hey, don’t be embarrassed.” Rachel shook off her surprise, laying her hand on Quinn’s shoulder.

“Of course I’m embarrassed. I didn’t want you to ever find out.” Quinn kept her eyes away from Rachel’s.

“I asked and you told the truth.” Rachel was desperate for Quinn to look at her.

“I know and it’s a mess. I should never have said anything.” Quinn sighed. “But yeah. That’s why I didn’t want you to marry Finn. Because I’m in love with you.”

“Quinn, Finn and I just broke up-”

“Please, don’t.” Quinn finally looked over at Rachel, anguish all over her face. “I don’t expect you to fall into my arms. I know you don’t feel the same.”

“I didn’t say that,” Rachel whispered.

“What?” Quinn asked fearfully.

“I don’t exactly know what I’m feeling,” Rachel explained carefully. “I said before that I couldn’t marry Finn without you there. But I don’t know if that’s because I have feelings for you or that it isn’t right with Finn.”

“I- Okay.” Quinn still looked upset but she said nothing more.

“You are so incredibly special to me, Quinn.” Rachel cupped Quinn’s face in her hands. “But I’ve never considered being with you before and I’m so confused right now. I can’t make you any promises.”

“I know.” Quinn squirmed under the intensity of Rachel’s stare. “I don’t expect you to be with me.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Rachel admitted.

“Of course you don‘t. That’s part of the reason I didn’t want to say anything. You don’t need to worry about me right now.” Quinn backed away from Rachel.

“You’re my friend. I care about you,” Rachel said softly. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t. Even if you decide to marry Finn, we’ll still be friends.”

“Won’t that hurt you?” Rachel looked at her in confusion.

“Yes but I’ve been dealing with this hurt for a long time. Longer than I really understand.” Quinn shrugged. “I can take it.”

“I don’t want you hurt you,” Rachel murmured. Things were spiraling out of control. The past few days had changed things for her and this conversation was making it even worse. But she didn’t want to turn Quinn away. She couldn’t imagine not having Quinn with her.

“It’s okay, Rachel. We’ll figure it out.” Quinn scoffed. “If we could be friends after all the awful things I did to you, I think we can get past this.”

“Yeah.” Rachel nodded, feeling ill at ease.

“Listen, I’m going to go and leave you to your thoughts.” Quinn patted her leg before standing up. “I promise we’ll talk later.”

“Okay.” Rachel smiled up at her. “I’m sorry for bringing all this up for you.”

“Don’t be. I- I just want you to be happy, Rachel.”

“Right.” Rachel sighed after Quinn walked out. She still had so much to think about. She didn’t know exactly what to do. She was fairly certain she had to break up with Finn. They were going in two different directions. It didn’t seem like there was any way to resolve it. Plus, the whole leaving him at the altar thing was pretty hurtful. Finn wasn’t likely to forgive being embarrassed in front of all their friends.

And now, there was Quinn. Beautiful Quinn, who was kind and smart and important to her. Who opened her heart with no chance of it ending up well. She hadn’t really thought of Quinn that way before but now that she had, Rachel kind of wanted to see where things would go. Just the thought of Quinn made her heart pound. They could be really good together. But she wasn’t going to do anything until she was sure. Quinn acted untouchable but there was a delicacy to her that Rachel would hate to break. She would have to wait until the mess that was her life settled own. And then maybe she could make a move.

\-------------

Quinn tucked herself into a corner of the library, hoping to kill time until Cheerios practice. She had Glee but there was no way she was going. Going to class was bad enough. Seeing Rachel was so hard. She looked so lost. Quinn wanted to do something to help but there wasn’t anything she could do. This was something Rachel had to figure out for herself and Quinn wasn’t going to push her into anything. If she was going to have Rachel, she wanted her for real. Not because scared or confused or lonely.

“We have to talk.” Finn sat down next to her, glaring fiercely.

“About what?” Quinn fought the urge to roll her eyes.

“Stay away from Rachel. You’re ruining our relationship.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Quinn said patiently.

“You- you talked to her and she changed her mind about being with me,” Finn said.

“Rachel left you at the altar all on her own. I was at the wedding, I said nothing. That was all her.” Quinn looked at him, wondering where all of this was coming from. She doubted Rachel would have told him about her feelings and he wasn’t perceptive enough to figure it out on his own.

“You never wanted us to get married. You tried to talk her out of it,” Finn snapped, his face turning red.

“I did but she didn’t listen to me. I don’t see what the problem is.” Quinn was quickly losing patience. She’d forced herself to accept that she didn’t have a chance with Rachel but that didn’t mean that she wanted to listen to Finn’s whining.

“She broke up with me.” Finn slapped his hand on the table. “I thought we’d get married later but she doesn’t want to. She says we’re not right together anymore.”

“I still don’t see what Rachel coming to her senses has to do with me.” Quinn hoped her face was neutral because she wanted to jump for joy. She wasn’t silly enough to believe that Rachel would turn to her but at least she wasn’t tying herself to Lima.

“Don’t be stupid. You badmouthed me to her.”

“I told her the truth. That being with you would ruin her life. But Rachel makes her own decisions. And yeah, I’m glad she dumped you but it wasn’t my fault.” Quinn started to gather her books and put them in her bag. It was time to get away. Finn was losing his temper and she didn’t want to be in the middle of it.

“This is bull shit! I love her,” Finn said desperately.

“I know.” Quinn felt a flash of pity for him. She knew all about clinging to a relationship because you felt like you were nothing without it. “But if you really love her, you’ll let her go.”

“I can’t. I need her.”

Quinn stood up, shaking her head. “I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Talk to her for me. Please,” Finn pleaded.

“What?” Quinn asked, her eyes growing wide.

“For some reason, your opinion matters to her. Tell her I won’t hold her back.” Finn stood up, staring at her frantically.

“I- I’m not putting myself in the middle of this,” Quinn said firmly.

“You did before,” Finn said petulantly.

“I- I’m not doing this. You have to work things out with Rachel yourself.” Quinn walked off before Finn could say anything else. That was just crazy. She couldn’t believe Finn asked that of her. That after everything, he’d expect her to plead his case to Rachel. She was his ex-girlfriend! What kind of sense did that make? Even if she wasn’t in love with Rachel, that was a ridiculous request.

Quinn shook her head, collapsing against a wall in an empty hallway. She didn’t want to think about Finn. He didn’t matter. But Rachel- Rachel mattered and she was single now. Quinn’s insides fluttered, even though she knew they shouldn’t. This really didn’t mean anything. She couldn’t let her heart get involved any more than it already was. She wouldn’t recover. However, she couldn’t stop a happy sigh from escaping. She laughed out loud. Rachel wasn’t with Finn anymore. And despite knowing better, her hopes were sky high. Anything could happen now. Anything.

\--------------

Rachel flipped through the sheet music in front of her. It was almost time for her NYADA audition and she had to be ready. She couldn’t let herself be distracted by her life and ruin her future. She wanted more than anything to be on Broadway. Nothing else mattered.

The chirping of her phone jolted her out of her thoughts. She looked at her phone, rolling her eyes. It was Finn. Again. They had broken up for good two weeks ago. She knew it was difficult but talking and talking wasn’t helping. They both needed to move on and prepare for their futures. And really, this was an example of why they shouldn’t be together. She was worrying about NYADA and all Finn cared about was her. Which sounded sweet, except that wasn’t healthy. She couldn’t be the center of his life. And she didn’t want to be. She wanted to be with someone who had their own plans and just wanted her to be a part of their life. Someone who wanted to be successful. Someone smart. Someone like Quinn.

Shaking her head, Rachel fought a smile at the thought of Quinn. They’d been spending a lot of time together lately. Not romantically, just as friends. Quinn was pretty much the only one who still treated her normally. Most everyone else either acted like she was an evil bitch who broke Finn’s heart or like she was crazy for letting it go that far. And she understood it but it was still tiring. But Quinn was just Quinn. Talking to her and instantly making her feel better.

There was a part of her that wanted to push things with Quinn. Rachel had started noticing the way Quinn looked at her and it made her feel wound up inside. She wanted to give in to Quinn’s desires and explore what they could be but it wouldn’t be right. She wasn’t over Finn and she wouldn’t use Quinn as some substitute to make her feel good about herself. She knew she had to sort out her feelings and be certain before anything happened. She wouldn’t ever want to break Quinn’s heart.

It seemed crazy how fast all of this was happening. Rachel wasn’t anywhere near ready to start a new relationship. But she could imagine the day that she would be. And she hoped that Quinn was waiting for her when she was. She couldn’t make Quinn any promises but she had a feeling it wouldn’t be much longer. Soon, she would be ready and hopefully they could explore a relationship. She just knew it could be wonderful.

\----------------

Quinn was trying not to lose her mind but Rachel was making it extremely difficult. She had never realized how handsy Rachel was until now. Every time they hung out, Rachel hugged her or leaned against her or just touched her. And she wasn’t doing it on purpose. Quinn looked at Rachel’s innocent expression and saw nothing malicious. It was just Rachel’s way. And it wouldn’t be a big deal, except for the fact that Quinn was fighting the urge to kiss her silly. She knew it was too soon and Rachel probably didn’t even see her like that.

Smiling at Rachel, Quinn schooled her face. It would do no good to make her uncomfortable. They were finally real friends and Quinn could be okay with just that. Even if she lost her mind every time Rachel touched her. Biting her lip, she knew she needed to think of something else. “Um, how are you doing?”

“Okay. Really,” Rachel said with a firm nod. “I knew I made the right decision.”

“I’m glad. I only wanted you to be happy,” Quinn said wistfully. “Have you talked to anyone else?”

“My dads.”

Quinn rolled her eyes. “I’m serious.”

“I know.” Rachel sighed unhappily. “Nobody really wants to talk to me. Except Finn and I know he just wants to get me back.”

“And you don’t want to get back together?” Quinn asked carefully. It was torture hearing about Rachel and Finn but she wanted to be there for her if she could.

“No. If I wasn’t sure, I wouldn’t have broken up with him.” Rachel shook her head. “I guess I didn’t realize that Finn was the only reason people talked to me.”

“That’s not true,” Quinn protested. She didn’t like Rachel thinking badly of herself.

“How come nobody’s here besides you?” Rachel asked.

“I-” Quinn didn’t know what to say to her. The rest of their friends weren’t exactly known to be sympathetic to other people’s problems. “What about Kurt?”

“No. He’s- he’s stuck in the middle. He’d probably talk to me if I needed him but I don’t want him to choose between me and his brother. This is my problem, not his.”

“It wouldn’t hurt him to try,” Quinn grumbled. She was still smarting from what Kurt said to her after the whole Karofsky thing. She wasn’t inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt.

“Maybe not but at least I’ve got you.” Rachel smiled at her.

“You do.” Quinn nodded. “You know, if you want, you can hang out with me and Brittany and Santana. If you can stand the non-stop making out.”

“Thanks for the invite.”

“No problem.” Quinn met Rachel’s eyes, her heart beating fast. She wasn’t supposed to be doing this. She wanted to back off and protect herself but something was keeping her in place. She couldn’t move. Rachel always had this effect on her. She couldn’t stay away from her.

“You’re so sweet,” Rachel murmured, cupping Quinn’s cheek.

“You’re the first person to ever say that to me.” Quinn swallowed hard. She was rapidly losing what little control she had over herself.

“I’m not wrong. You’re so good to me,” Rachel insisted. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Well, that will never happen. You can’t get rid of me.” Quinn pulled Rachel into her arms, rubbing her back. She was in too deep. She couldn’t protect herself now.

“Well, good,” Rachel mumbled, relaxing into Quinn’s embrace.

“I want to be there for you, Rach. Whatever you need.” Quinn closed her eyes, her chin wobbling. Her emotions were overwhelming. She wasn’t sure she could stop herself from completely falling into Rachel.

“Really?” Rachel lifted her head, looking Quinn straight in the eyes.

“Yes. Of course.” Quinn frowned. Hadn’t she shown she cared for Rachel?

“It’s just- I know I’ve been selfish lately but I care about you. And this- being around me- has to be hard for you. I guess I don’t understand how you can still be around me,” Rachel said quietly.

“I- I don’t know. It’s really not that hard.” Quinn shrugged, hoping Rachel couldn’t read her mind.

“Come on.” Rachel rolled her eyes.

“I mean it. Sometimes, it’s uncomfortable but you’re worth it. Making you happy is worth it.” Quinn ducked her head, her face turning red. “Sounds stupid.”

“Not, it’s sweet. You’re sweet,” Rachel said shyly. “I know I said that earlier but it’s true. And I’m so grateful for you.”

“Wow.” Quinn smiled practically speechless. She didn’t know how to respond to that.

“Um, maybe we should do something else,” Rachel said, letting go of Quinn backing away.

“Yeah. Do you want to watch a movie?”

“Sure.”

“Good.” Quinn grabbed the remote and began flipping through the channels, willing her body to calm down. Rachel cared about her but that was all. And pushing her into something she didn’t actually want would end in heart break for the both of them. She just wouldn’t do it.

\--------------

Rachel tried to speed up, hoping to get out of school without being stopped. Finn had been looking at her for the past few days and she knew he would try to talk about their relationship. She couldn’t do it. Not right not. She had too much else going on to deal with his feelings. And maybe that was cruel but she didn’t care. Her NYADA audition was in a few days and that was what she had to focus on. Her future was too important to let herself be distracted with relationship drama.

Plus, Rachel knew that she and Finn were over. She hadn’t missed him at all. It was a little scary to think that she had almost married someone that she could live without. And yeah, it was a little lonely sometime. But honestly, Quinn was perfectly capable of providing her with all of the companionship that she needed. They weren’t even dating but Quinn was always there whenever she needed somebody.

“Rachel?” Finn grabbed her arm just as she reached her car. “Can we talk?”

“Oh, Finn.” Rachel sighed as she turned around. “What is the point? I thought we settled this already.”

“No. You broke up with me and that was it.” Finn looked at her pleadingly. “But I still love you.”

“Don’t do this. It’s over, it’s been over.” Rachel fought to keep from rolling her eyes. It had been weeks. Their friends had stopped treating her like a pariah. She’d truly believed that they were both moving on.

“I thought you’d get over this cold feet or whatever it is and then we could start planning our life together,” Finn said.

“I- I never said that.” Rachel stared at him in surprise. She’d been careful not to lead him on.

“I know but you’re- We’ve broken up and gotten back together so many times. We’re meant to be together,” Finn stated confidently.

“No, we’re not. I-” Rachel stopped, wondering how to explain this without hurting his feelings. “We are so different.”

“I always thought that’s why we get along so well,” Finn interrupted.

“I- That sounds nice but it’s not true. We are not ready to be married.”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” Finn demanded.

“Because it’s true. What were we going to do? How would we live? My dads might have paid for school but they wouldn’t have gotten us an apartment if we were married. We’d need jobs and a plan. Have you even thought about any of that?” Rachel asked, bursting out with some of the things she’d been thinking since they’d broken up.

“I- I don’t- What do you want from me?” Finn looked so lost that Rachel wished she could do something to fix it for him.

“Nothing, Finn. We broke up. You don’t owe me anything anymore.” Rachel bit her lip, trying to figure out what to say to him. “I’m just pointing out how unprepared for married life we were.”

“I- Okay.” Finn shrugged his shoulders, looking like a lost little boy. “I guess I can see that. But did we really have to break up? Maybe we’re not ready for marriage now but we can still be together.”

“No, we can’t.” Rachel hoped Finn would leave it at that.

“Why not? I love you.” Finn grabbed her hand. “That’s all that matters, right?”

“No, it isn’t.” Rachel pulled her hand away, ignoring the hurt on his face. She’d have to spell it out for him. “We are two different people. That’s not changing. And I used to think that love was enough. But it’s not.”

“Rachel, please. I love you so much,” Finn pleaded.

“You’re a good guy, Finn. But you don’t want to live in New York. And I am definitely not staying here.” Rachel sighed. “It’s time we both accept that.”

“I- No! I don’t accept that.” Finn clenched his fists.

“I’m sorry, Finn, but it’s done. It’s been over a long time. We both have to move on.” Rachel opened her car door. “Good bye, Finn.”

“No! Quit saying it’s over!” Finn slammed the door shut.

“Finn, you’re scaring me,” Rachel said slowly, her eyes wide with fear. “Don’t do something you’ll regret. I want us to be friends but it won’t happen if you keep acting like this.”

“I don’t want to be your friend. I don’t want anything from you.” Finn slammed his hand on the car before storming away.

“Oh.” Rachel got into her car, trying to slow down her breathing. That was frightening. She didn’t really believe Finn would ever hurt her but he’d never lost his temper like that towards her before. She was sorry she hurt him but there wasn’t any way around it. They weren’t right together. She’d accept it and now maybe Finn would, too. And maybe they could work their way back to being friends.

\---------------

Quinn sneaked into the auditorium, careful not to make any noise as she took a seat in the back. Nobody was supposed to be in the room during Rachel’s audition but she couldn’t resist it. She had to support Rachel, had to see her first step to reaching her dreams. There was nothing like watching Rachel own the stage. Quinn knew she was totally biased but she truly believed there wasn’t anyone as talented as she was.

When Kurt took the stage, Quinn forced a smile. He was pretty good when he picked the right song. She hoped he’d get in, if only so that he wouldn’t make Rachel feel badly when she got in. Maybe she wasn’t being fair but she really didn’t care. Rachel was what mattered to her.

Finally, Rachel took the stage. Quinn smiled but it quickly faded as Rachel stumbled over the song. Her heart broke as Rachel fall apart. When she took off, Quinn stood up, hoping to find her. She didn’t know how to help but she couldn’t leave her alone. She had to be there for her.

A she was just about to give up hone, Quinn found Rachel sitting on a bench behind the school. “Rachel, talk to me.”

“What can I say? My life is over.” Rachel looked at Quinn, tears covering her face.

“Oh, no, it’s not.” Quinn sat next to her, putting an arm around her.

“I blew it, Quinn. I screwed up a song I’ve sung a hundred times before.” Rachel buried her face into her hands.

“I know but-”

“But nothing. It’s over.”

“No.” Quinn forced Rachel’s chin up. “There’s not one way to success, Rachel. Maybe NYADA is done for you but how many schools are there in New York? There’s bound to be one that wants a soon to be National Show Choir champion.”

“I’m scared, Quinn. I had all these plans for this year and it’s all screwed up. Nothing is how it should be. I don’t have the school I wanted, I don’t have a boyfriend. What do I do?” Rachel asked.

“You don’t need that. You’ll figure it out. You’re the most talented person I know. And there will be people lining up to date you. I totally would.” Quinn blushed. That was more than what she meant to say.

“Quinn,” Rachel whispered, her eyes dropping to Quinn’s lips.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” Quinn swallowed hard as Rachel leaned closer to her.

“It’s okay.” Rachel closed the distance between them, covering Quinn’s lips with her own.

“Whoa, wait.” Quinn tried to pull back, but Rachel kissed her again. This was wrong. Rachel was upset but Quinn couldn’t tear herself away. It felt too good. This was all she had wanted for so long.

“You feel so good.” Rachel trailed kisses along Quinn’s neck.

“You, too.” Quinn panted as her hands wandered all over Rachel’s body.

“Please, make me feel good. Make me forget.” Rachel tried to capture Quinn’s lips again but Quinn looked away.

“Wait. You- you just want to forget?” Quinn felt the tears coming as Rachel’s words sank in but she fought them off. “You’re just using me.”

“No! That’s not- I- You make me feel better and I thought-”

“You thought poor, pathetic Quinn is good for an ego boost. Who cares how she feels? In fact, she’d probably enjoy a kiss from me!” Quinn shook with anger and she stood up before she slapped Rachel across the face.

“That’s not what I was doing,” Rachel said weakly.

“It was.” Quinn looked at the heart break on Rachel’s face and she became even angrier. She shouldn’t have to comfort her right now. “I have to go.”

“No, please let me explain.” Rachel walked toward her, stopping before she got too close.

“You can’t. There’s nothing you can say that would make me feel better. I need to get away and you need to leave me alone for a while,” Quinn said, ignoring the tears in Rachel’s eyes.

“I- Okay. I’m sorry,” Rachel said urgently.

“That doesn’t matter. I can’t deal with you right now.” Quinn left before she gave in to the urge to comfort Rachel. She couldn’t this time. She was too hurt. She couldn’t believe that this happened. She had known Rachel would break her heart but this was the last thing she’d thought would ever happen. She hadn’t ever thought that Rachel would use her like this. She didn’t know what to do. She knew Rachel was hurting but she couldn’t go back to how things were. So she had to leave her. She couldn’t see her for a long time.

\----------------

Rachel entered the choir room and took her seat, avoiding eye contact with everyone. She didn’t want to see Quinn ignore her again. She knew it was her own fault. She’d wrecked her entire life. Her college plans were a mess and she didn’t even have a best friend.

It was so strange. She and Quinn hadn’t been close for that long but it felt like she had lost everything now that they weren’t talking. She had screwed up so badly. She hadn’t been thinking. She’d just wanted to feel good and Quinn was right there and it had made sense in the moment. But she’d ended up hurting Quinn. She felt horrible but she didn’t know how to fix it. Quinn still didn’t want to talk to her and Rachel really couldn’t blame her.

As Mr. Schue came into the room, Rachel tried to shake off her melancholy. Her life might be a disaster but there was still Nationals to win. Maybe she could leave high school as a champion. If Mr. Schue would quit playing around and actually start preparing for it.

“Mr. Figgins has asked us to perform at Prom and I agreed so let’s start thinking up songs each of you wants to sing.”

Rachel groaned to herself. She had managed to black out all the talk of Prom. Mainly because she had no intention of going since she couldn’t go with the person she wanted to go with. It was ironic; she’d ruined her relationship with Quinn just as she was getting to the point where she was ready to be with her. She’d been thinking of Quinn and how much she’d wanted to be with her. That was probably why she’d kissed her in the first place. Because she wanted her and Quinn had been right in front of her. It had been so easy to pull her close and just forget all of her problems. But it wasn’t right and she shouldn’t have done it.

“Rachel? Do you know what song you want to sing?” Mr. Schuester asked, interrupting Rachel’s musings.

“I don’t have one. I’m not going to Prom,” Rachel said simply.

“I’d really like everyone to participate,” Mr. Schuester said. “It would be a good team-building exercise.”

“I think working on our Nationals set list would be a better use of our time.” Rachel rolled her eyes.

“Please, you’re just embarrassed,” Santana snapped. “You screwed up your audition for college and your relationship with the Jolly Finn Giant and now you want to wallow.”

“I don’t see what the big deal is. Everyone says I sing too much. If I’m not there, the rest of you can have a turn.” Rachel wasn’t going to be guilted into doing something she didn’t want to.

“You’re just a spoiled brat.” Santana sneered at her.

“Stop it, Santana.” Quinn slapped her shoulder and glared.

“Hey, everyone relax,” Mr. Schuester said.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m going to go since we’re not prepping for Nationals. I’m not going to be berated over something that’s not my fault.” Rachel stood up and walked out, anxious to get away. She didn’t want to listen to this crap and she couldn’t stand to ponder why Quinn had defended her. It would drive her crazy if she tried to figure out why Quinn said anything and did that mean she forgave her and-

“Rachel, wait.” Quinn grabbed her arm and spun her around.

“Uh, Quinn. Hi.” Rachel had been so wrapped up in her thought that she didn’t notice Quinn following her. She had no idea what to say. She was completely unprepared.

“Are you okay?” Quinn asked shyly.

“Oh, yeah. I just don’t want see what the big deal is.” Rachel just wanted to stare at Quinn and not say anything. If she opened her mouth, she’d end up saying something stupid.

“Santana’s a bitch. Just ignore her.”

Rachel shook her head. “I don’t even care about her.”

“Good.” Quinn nodded, looking awkward. “Why aren’t you going to Prom?”

“I don’t have a date,” Rachel said quietly, looking away from her.

“You could go by yourself,” Quinn pointed out.

“I don’t want to go and risk a slushy or some sort of Carrie situation,” Rachel said with a dry chuckle. “It’s better to avoid the whole debacle.”

“Oh. You shouldn’t miss your Senior Prom.”

“That was never important to me. Not like it was for you.” Rachel closed her eyes in embarrassment. Why did she always say something stupid? “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“It’s fine. It’s kind of true. Prom Queen has been my goal for a long time.” Quinn smiled at her.

“I’m sure you’ll get it.” Rachel returned the smile, feeling content for the first time since they’d fought.

“How are you so sure?” Quinn asked curiously.

“You’re so beautiful, Quinn. How could anyone else possibly be Queen?” Rachel asked, blushing bright red. She meant it but that was possibly a little dramatic.

“Thanks,” Quinn said timidly. “I- I guess I’ll go now.”

“Sure, of course. It was nice talking to you.” Rachel wanted this to last forever but it was probably better they separate before she said something ill-advised.

“I’ll see you.”

“See you,” Rachel echoed. “Wait.”

“What?” Quinn turned around, looking at her curiously.

“I know you probably don’t want to talk about our kiss but I need to explain,” Rachel said urgently.

“Oh, Rachel, no.” Quinn shook her head. “I don’t want to be mad at you. I’m trying to get over this so we can be friends again but if we keep talking about it, I won’t be able to.”

“Look, I know it’s uncomfortable but we haven’t really talked.” Rachel sighed. “Just give me a few minutes and I’ll leave you alone until you’re ready to talk to me.”

“Fine.” Quinn gestured for her to continue.

“You are so special to me,” Rachel began.

“No. Don’t do that.” Quinn held her hands up. “Don’t tell me how much I mean to you. That’s not helping.”

“I- That day, I was so upset and you were so good to me. I couldn’t help but lose myself in you. I wasn’t thinking about using you or anything like that. I was thinking about how much I care about you. It was so easy to kiss you and focus on that instead of my audition.”

“What?” Quinn asked. “I don’t understand what you mean.”

“I didn’t decide to kiss you because I needed someone; I kissed you because I needed you.” Rachel took a breath, gathering her words. They were finally talking and she didn’t want to push Quinn too far. “Quinn, I have feelings for you. The last few months, I’ve been trying to sort myself out so I could be ready for you.”

“I don’t know what to say to that.” Quinn stared at her in confusion.

“You don’t have to say anything. I’m not expecting anything from you. I just wanted you to know what I didn’t mean to use you. It was real for me.” Rachel stared at Quinn, trying to decipher the emotions on her face.

“Rachel, I-”

“Don’t. I don’t want to pressure you. I just had to make sure that you know how much I care for you.” Rachel leaned in, pressing her lips to Quinn’s cheek. “I’m going to go now.”

“Rachel, you didn’t have to say that.” Quinn brought her hand up to the place where Rachel had kissed her.

“I did. The truth is the least you deserve from me.” Rachel smiled wistfully at her. “I hope your Prom night is everything you want it to be.”

“Thank you, Rachel.” Quinn still looked stunned.

“Bye, Quinn.” Rachel made herself turn and walk away. These few minutes with Quinn only made her want more time with her. But she had promised she wouldn’t badger Quinn and she meant it. She’d do anything for Quinn and right now, that meant backing off.

\-------------------

Tugging at her dress, Quinn frowned. Nothing felt right. She kept looking at herself in the mirror and nothing was out of place. Her dress looked good and her hair was perfect but there was something wrong. She had no idea what it was. Except she did, she just didn’t want to admit it. There was something missing. Rachel. She was supposed to be with Rachel tonight. She’d dreamed of going to Prom with Rachel. She hadn’t thought they would be dating but she’d thought they would go as friends. And she’d be crowned Prom Queen and Rachel would smile at her and maybe she’d even get a dance with her. But they had hardly spoken in weeks.

Quinn sighed. She’d almost accepted that she’d never be with Rachel and then they had talked and Rachel had said she had feelings for her. Her first instinct had been to grab her and never let go. But then she remembered how devastated she’d been and she couldn’t make a move. So she had just let Rachel go. Now it had been days and they were still in this weird awkward place where they didn’t talk. Quinn wanted to fix things but she was terrified. She wouldn’t survive it if she had Rachel only to lose her.

Hearing her mother’s voice, Quinn grabbed her purse and made her way downstairs. It was time to take pictures all by herself and then drive to Prom. She tried not to be bitter. She’d just never dreamed that she’d be going to her Senior Prom alone. Of course, she’d never dreamed that she’d be in love with a girl, either.

“Quinnie, I found this on the front porch. It’s for you,” Judy said, holding a box out to her.

“What?” Quinn opened the box and pulled out a corsage. “Wow.”

“It’s beautiful. In fact, it’s a little like the one Finn gave you last year,” Judy said. “You two haven’t gotten back together, have you?”

“No absolutely not.” Quinn gazed at the gardenia with a light green ribbon. It was beautiful and exactly like the corsage from the year before. There was only one person who would leave a corsage on her front porch tonight. Which meant that both corsages came from the same person. God, how could they have both been so blind? She and Rachel had been circling each other for years. What was she supposed to do now?

“Quinn? Are you ready for pictures?”

“Yes, sure.” Quinn slipped the corsage on her wrist and tried to smile. Rachel had tried to make her night special; the least she could do was enjoy it. Even if she was completely confused about everything.

\------------------

It was ridiculously quiet. Her dads went to Cincinnati for the weekend and Rachel was left all alone. Normally, she’d enjoy having the house to herself but she had nothing to distract her from her thoughts. All she could think about was Quinn. How beautiful she probably looked, if she was having a good time. Had she realized who sent her corsage? That was probably a bit conceited but she wanted to be a part of Quinn’s special night, even if Quinn didn’t realize that it was Rachel who gave it to her. Of course, Quinn was smart so she’d probably figure it out. Rachel only hoped it didn’t ruin her night. She wanted Quinn to have everything she wanted. God, it was crazy. She was crazy. If she had realized her feelings earlier, maybe she would be with Quinn. Holding her hand, slow dancing with her, cheering when she won Prom Queen. She wanted it so bad she could taste it.

Suddenly, the stillness of the night was interrupted by the door bell. Rachel glanced at the clock. It was pretty late. She made her way to the door, her heart dropping into her throat when she looked through the peephole. She opened the door quickly. “Quinn?”

“Hi,” Quinn said nervously, smiling at her.

“Uh, what are you doing here? Isn’t Prom still going on?” Rachel asked. “Is something wrong?”

“No, everything’s fine.” Quinn shook her head. “I need to talk to you. Can I come in?”

“Of course, yes.” Rachel led her inside, sitting next to her on the couch.

“I- I shouldn’t be here.” Quinn looked away.

“No, you’re welcome here always. I always want to see you.” Rachel blushed, feeling like she’d said too much.

“Really? I thought you’d be irritated with me because I ignored you.” Quinn turned back to her, looking shy.

“No, I understand why you did that. I hurt you. I’m so sorry.” Rachel risked taking Quinn’s hand in her own and was thrilled when she didn’t pull away.

“I know you are. I’m not mad at you anymore,” Quinn said.

“Oh, good.” Rachel groaned, knowing she sounded like an idiot. She just couldn’t help it. Quinn brought it out in her.

“Yeah, good,” Quinn teased, squeezing Rachel’s hand. “But that’s only part of why I’m here. I- I was at Prom and nothing felt right. Even after I was crowned Queen, there was something missing.”

“What was it?” Rachel whispered, feeling like something important was about to happen.

“You. I wanted you. Rachel, you should have been with me.” Quinn released Rachel’s hand to hold her face. “I still terrified that you’re going to break my heart but I can’t live without you.”

“Um, what?” Rachel didn’t believe that Quinn was really saying this to her. She pinched her own arm, certain she must be dreaming.

“I- I want to be with you. If you really meant what you said before, that you have feelings for me,” Quinn said timidly, ducking her head.

“I do, I meant it,” Rachel assured her. “My life is a mess right now. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m not sure of anything, except that I love you.”

“You really love me,” Quinn repeated, stroking Rachel’s face.

“I do. I’m crazy about you.” Rachel pressed her cheek to Quinn’s. “These past few weeks have been miserable without you.”

“For me, too.” Quinn closed her eyes letting out a soft breath. “You hurt me so badly. I understand better about everything you did but it still hurt.”

“I’m sorry for that. I never meant for any of that to happen. You mean so much to me,” Rachel murmured. She wanted to wrap herself around Quinn and never let go but she resisted. She didn’t want to freak Quinn out by being too pushy.

“I’m trying to believe that.” Quinn pulled back slightly, staring at Rachel. “I said before that I’m terrified. But I don’t want to miss my chance with you.”

“I don’t want that, either. I’ve wanted to come to you but I hurt you. It had to be your choice.”

“It is.” Quinn tugged at the corsage on her wrist. “Thank you for this.”

“How’d you know?” Rachel asked apprehensively.

“Who else cared enough to do something like that?” Quinn paused. “It looks a lot like the one Finn got me last year.”

“Yeah, well.” Rachel shrugged her shoulder. She hadn’t thought that Quinn would figure that part out.

“Why would you do that? We weren’t exactly close last year.”

“Finn was complaining that he didn’t know what to get you and it didn’t seem right that you not get a perfect night.” Rachel smiled. “And that’s why I got you a corsage for tonight. I wanted it to be perfect and I wanted to be a part of it.”

“You’re the very best part.” Quinn leaned in, hovering close to Rachel. “Nothing felt right until just this moment.”

“Really? Not even your crown?” Rachel teased, pointing at the tiara on Quinn’s head.

“No.” Quinn said with certainty. “It’s nice validation but looking out at the crowd and not seeing you was awful.”

“I’m here now,” Rachel said. “And if you want me, I’ll never let you go.”

“That sounds nice.” Quinn licked her lips but made no move to get closer.

“Quinn, you’re going to have to make the first move. I promised myself that I’d wait for you to be ready.” Rachel slid her hands up Quinn’s back, hoping Quinn was ready. Her control felt like it was about to snap.

“All right.” Quinn shut her eyes and pressed her lips to Rachel’s.

“Oh, yes.” Rachel tried not to take over but she couldn’t help herself. She’d waited weeks to have Quinn in her arms. Pressing Quinn backwards onto the couch, Rachel climbed on top of her, kissing her soundly.

“You’re pretty good at that.” Quinn looked up at her with heavy-lidded eyes when the need for oxygen forced them to pull back.

“You, too.” Rachel ran a finger over Quinn’s lips. This felt like a dream. She’d almost given up on Quinn even being her friend, let alone this. “You’re so beautiful.”

“Thanks. Although, my dress is kind of getting wrinkled here,” Quinn said with a grin.

“Let me get up.” Rachel sat up in a hurry. “Do you want to get out of that dress?”

“Are you offering to help?” Quinn raised her eyebrows.

“W- No.” Rachel shook her head furiously. She didn’t want to force Quinn into anything. “You mentioned your dress. I figured you might want to change but I didn’t mean- Don’t feel like you have to-”

“Rachel.” Quinn kissed her mischievously on the mouth. “I was kidding. You aren’t making me do anything I don’t want to.”

“Good.” Rachel settled herself in Quinn’s lap. “But you can change into some of my clothes if you want to stay the night or anything.”

“I’d like that.” Quinn tangled a hand into Rachel’s hair. “Are you sure that’s what you want? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Rachel shook her head, a smile spreading over her face. “Being with you is better than anything else. I’ll keep you with me as long as you want to be here.”

“I don’t want to leave you. This has been all I’ve wanted for so long,” Quinn said honestly. “I want to go to sleep holding you and wake up with you. I love you, Rachel.”

“I love you, too.” Rachel stood up, offering her hand to Quinn and pulling her upstairs. “Let’s go to bed.”

“Okay.”

The feeling was indescribable. Rachel was nearly speechless. She knew her life had changed and she didn’t regret it. Having Quinn in her arms was absolutely perfect.

\---------------

Quinn wasn’t quite sure how late it was but they had been lying in Rachel’s bed for a long time. Rachel had drifted off to sleep a while ago but Quinn couldn’t shut her mind off. She couldn’t believe she was actually here, cuddled up with Rachel. Rachel loved her. It seemed unbelievable but here she was. And she didn’t want to go to sleep, only to wake up alone.

Laughing to herself, Quinn tightened her hold on Rachel. This was real. She knew it was, and she wasn’t going to let her fears and insecurities scare her into pushing Rachel away. She was miserable without her. These past few weeks had only proven that she wanted Rachel in her life whatever way she could have her. And since it seemed that Rachel wanted her, too, she was going to give it her best shot.

It was unnerving allowing herself to be vulnerable to Rachel. But it had hit her at Prom, on stage with a crown on her head. She could protect herself and never let Rachel close again. However, the only thing that would do is keep her away from someone she loved. And that made no sense. Even if her heart ended up in pieces, holding Rachel in her arms for this time would be worth it. She wanted this more than anything.

“I can feel you thinking,” Rachel mumbled, snuggling into Quinn’s chest.

“Shh. Don’t worry about it. Go back to sleep.” Quinn moved her hand up and down Rachel’s back.

“Are you okay?” Rachel asked, lifting her head up.

“I am. Really.” Quinn smiled reassuringly at her.

“Well, what are you thinking about?” Rachel frowned.

“How glad I am to be here with you.” Quinn pulled her down for a light kiss.

“Yeah?” Rachel brushed the hair away from Quinn’s face, her hand lingering there.

“Yes.” Quinn cupped Rachel’s face in her hands. “Were you afraid I’d changed my mind?”

“Uh-huh.” Rachel tried to look away but Quinn wouldn’t allow her to.

“That’s not going to happen. I’ve waited so long for this chance to be with you. I don’t give my heart away easily. Now that I’ve got you, I’m not letting go.” Quinn felt herself growing more assured as they talked. Rachel wanted this as much as she did.

“You- Quinn, I hurt you so badly. I’m a little surprised this is coming so easily.”

Quinn couldn’t stop a laugh from bubbling up. “Easy? Has any of the last few months been easy?”

“No.” Rachel shook her head. “I kind of gave up on ever having you like this.”

“I never did. I was hurt,” Quinn said honestly. “But I forgive you. I understand that you were clinging to something that made you feel normal and you weren’t trying to use me.”

“I wasn’t,” Rachel insisted.

“I know and it’s over. It’s time for us to move on.” Quinn pulled her down, tucking Rachel’s head into her neck. “We’re together now.”

“We are,” Rachel breathed out. “I just love you so much.”

“I love you, too.” Quinn squeezed her eyes shut, trying to stop the tears. She was happy. There was no reason to cry.

“I don’t think I’m going to be able to fall back to sleep. I’m too excited,” Rachel said, trying to burrow even closer to Quinn.

“I know what you mean,” Quinn said with a laugh. “I just want to stay up with you and hold you and kiss you and never let go.”

“That sounds pretty nice.” Rachel pressed a kiss to Quinn’s neck, her hands slipping underneath Quinn’s tank top. “Is this okay?”

“Oh, yeah.” Quinn’s eyes fluttered shut as Rachel’s hands slid over her body.

“Good.” Rachel cupped Quinn breast, running her thumb over the nipple.

“Mmm.” Quinn was about to lose herself in Rachel’s touch. She wanted to enjoy it but she couldn’t quite yet. “Wait a second.”

“Oh.” Rachel removed her hands, pulling back. “Do you not want to?”

“Oh, no. I do.” Quinn held Rachel in place when she tried to move. “But this is all happening so fast. I want us to be sure this is what we both want. I wouldn’t survive it if you weren’t sure.”

“I’m sure. I want this. You. I want you and I’m ready if you are,” Rachel said definitively.

“I’m ready.” Quinn smiled and nudged Rachel off of her. She sat up, pulling her shirt off. “See? I- I’m ready.”

“Wow.” Rachel locked in on Quinn’s chest, absently licking her lips.

“You want to even things up between us?” Quinn asked, feeling warm at the lust in Rachel’s eyes. This was happening. She almost couldn’t breathe; she was so excited for this.

“Yeah.” Rachel fumbled as she tried to take her shirt off.

“Relax. Nothing’s going to happen unless we both want it.” Quinn carefully helped Rachel remove her shirt.

“That’s not the problem.” Rachel crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re gorgeous. I- I’m not really much to look at.”

“Shh.” Quinn gently pulled Rachel’s arms down, her eyes wide with desire. “You’re beautiful, Rachel. You’re all I’ve been thinking about for a long time. I- I can’t wait to touch you. However you’ll let me.”

“I-” Rachel leaned over and kissed Quinn. “Okay. I’m ready now.”

“You don’t have to be. We can put our shirts back on and go to sleep. I’m perfectly happy just to cuddle,” Quinn whispered into Rachel’s ear.

“No. I want us to make love.” Rachel laid back on the bed, a grin on her face. “Make me yours, Quinn.”

“Mine.” Quinn grinned widely before sliding on top of her. It still felt like a dream but she wasn’t stopping. They were both ready and she couldn’t wait to get her hands on Rachel. She had waited for this for so long. She was going to enjoy every minute of it. Rachel was all she wanted. Forever.


End file.
